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Friday, July 01, 2005
Crazy people!
It started at SS2's al fresco (open-aired) mamak; We started wondering about the old man that used to walk around marketing his lala (shellfish) and other varieties of seafood, and according to Shao Ming, also porridge. This happened right after the Tom Yam guy didn't give us a discount after I gave him one of my Dunhill Top Leaf cigarettes. Moreover, left the poor Shao Ming with so few pieces of chicken.
"So, where is he?" you ask?
A: Shao Ming believes that he is dead. I agree with no conviction.
(The "A:" is for "Assumption.")
The truth: We don't really know. We both remember that he liked fooling around and was slightly crazy, which was where all this crazy talk originated from. I was telling him how on one occasion, he tapped my shoulder and when I turned to look, there was no one there and almost immediately he tapped the other one and it goes on like that. I supposed that he enjoyed the bewildered look on the face of strangers. He, too, recalls this and started briefing me in on how he used to just take those trays that the workers there used to keep track of cigarette sales, and threw them off the table! Off the table! For no apparent reason. As in your table.
Is that normal? How do we know?
Then we went off to Dharoos and ran into Zing, Charmaine, Sow and Leonard there. We chatted on hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy and all that and also about starlight cinema tickets and the unrelative. Soon after, they left and we started talking about crazy people again--this time about relatives--ours. It turns out that he has a schizophrenic aunt. Then it came to me that he had told me this before--his aunt's behaviour and the things she did--and how she is doing better after having gone to church. They call that the divine magic touch because she is getting better, even without the drugs.
Can that be considered 'crazy'?
My grandmother is sort of like that, too. But I won't call her crazy. She collects empty bottles and containers. Not rare kinds or anything that merits the collection whatsoever--just any sort of container that can hold something in the future. I've never seen her use any of these containers before. One time when I was helping her move, I opened her drawer to find several unused containers that she had been saving for a rainy day. I don't know what to think of it. I believe my father thinks she's crazy and I don't know how the rest of my family feels because so far my father has been the only one to have commented on it.
My other grandmother is more paranoid than crazy. Just earlier she was telling me how my unfixed car window could lead to me getting in serious trouble (with the police, I assume) if someone decided to leave suspiciously incriminating things in there (I don't know what.) To the effect of only getting me in trouble. The other time when I was going to cover my window with a black plastic bag that is normally used for garbage--and she started yelling in Cantonese about how the cops will come and get me if I cover up the window. I was so helpless and at a loss of words that only my blank stare filled the sound.
All in cantonese:
Grandmother: What are you doing?
Me: Getting a bag to cover up my broken car window.
Grandmother: Pei mata lai ga!!! (You'll get arrested by the cops!!!)
Me: ... (thinking to myself, "...")
I don't think you can call this crazy. But it's worth a shot. Don't get me wrong! I love my grandmothers and relatives. Family is family, but what do you say to that!?
I have another story of a person's crazy siblings but I don't think I'm allowed to divulge so much. Thing is that there are quite a number of them out there, apparently. I'm sure there are many out there with crazy stories. I have more but for another time.
Moving on from the crazy topic, Shao Ming suddenly starts talking about the tennis match on the TV and on how hot the tennis player was. I don't know who she is. She won the Wimbledon Championship last year.
Him: She's damn tall. Everything else of hers would be bigger.
Me: Longer la?
Him: Bigger is longer la. Same thing! Everything would be larger, even the vagina.
Me: So,
Him: I still wouldn't mind having her la. But she'd be crazy to want me back.
Me: You'd be crazy to want a crazy girl!
So, how would we find out who's crazy? We can't. Everyone is a candidate at the rate this is going. A simple stool test would do.
I then pointed out that the stool next to mine has a hole in the center, like many other stools, and it could fit two fingers in. I proceeded to bring the stool halfway up on the table and tried persuading him to fit his two fingers in. I did that several times.I suppose that's how you can tell if someone is crazy or not--a stool test. I proceeded to toy with his embarassment for people looking at me for putting the stool on the table and insisted he put his two fingers in the hole. Of course, he didn't. He's used to all the silly things I do now, anyway.
Am I a candidate for 'crazy'? I'm more confused now on what people consider crazy.
"So, where is he?" you ask?
A: Shao Ming believes that he is dead. I agree with no conviction.
(The "A:" is for "Assumption.")
The truth: We don't really know. We both remember that he liked fooling around and was slightly crazy, which was where all this crazy talk originated from. I was telling him how on one occasion, he tapped my shoulder and when I turned to look, there was no one there and almost immediately he tapped the other one and it goes on like that. I supposed that he enjoyed the bewildered look on the face of strangers. He, too, recalls this and started briefing me in on how he used to just take those trays that the workers there used to keep track of cigarette sales, and threw them off the table! Off the table! For no apparent reason. As in your table.
Is that normal? How do we know?
Then we went off to Dharoos and ran into Zing, Charmaine, Sow and Leonard there. We chatted on hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy and all that and also about starlight cinema tickets and the unrelative. Soon after, they left and we started talking about crazy people again--this time about relatives--ours. It turns out that he has a schizophrenic aunt. Then it came to me that he had told me this before--his aunt's behaviour and the things she did--and how she is doing better after having gone to church. They call that the divine magic touch because she is getting better, even without the drugs.
Can that be considered 'crazy'?
My grandmother is sort of like that, too. But I won't call her crazy. She collects empty bottles and containers. Not rare kinds or anything that merits the collection whatsoever--just any sort of container that can hold something in the future. I've never seen her use any of these containers before. One time when I was helping her move, I opened her drawer to find several unused containers that she had been saving for a rainy day. I don't know what to think of it. I believe my father thinks she's crazy and I don't know how the rest of my family feels because so far my father has been the only one to have commented on it.
My other grandmother is more paranoid than crazy. Just earlier she was telling me how my unfixed car window could lead to me getting in serious trouble (with the police, I assume) if someone decided to leave suspiciously incriminating things in there (I don't know what.) To the effect of only getting me in trouble. The other time when I was going to cover my window with a black plastic bag that is normally used for garbage--and she started yelling in Cantonese about how the cops will come and get me if I cover up the window. I was so helpless and at a loss of words that only my blank stare filled the sound.
All in cantonese:
Grandmother: What are you doing?
Me: Getting a bag to cover up my broken car window.
Grandmother: Pei mata lai ga!!! (You'll get arrested by the cops!!!)
Me: ... (thinking to myself, "...")
I don't think you can call this crazy. But it's worth a shot. Don't get me wrong! I love my grandmothers and relatives. Family is family, but what do you say to that!?
I have another story of a person's crazy siblings but I don't think I'm allowed to divulge so much. Thing is that there are quite a number of them out there, apparently. I'm sure there are many out there with crazy stories. I have more but for another time.
Moving on from the crazy topic, Shao Ming suddenly starts talking about the tennis match on the TV and on how hot the tennis player was. I don't know who she is. She won the Wimbledon Championship last year.
Him: She's damn tall. Everything else of hers would be bigger.
Me: Longer la?
Him: Bigger is longer la. Same thing! Everything would be larger, even the vagina.
Me: So,
Him: I still wouldn't mind having her la. But she'd be crazy to want me back.
Me: You'd be crazy to want a crazy girl!
So, how would we find out who's crazy? We can't. Everyone is a candidate at the rate this is going. A simple stool test would do.
I then pointed out that the stool next to mine has a hole in the center, like many other stools, and it could fit two fingers in. I proceeded to bring the stool halfway up on the table and tried persuading him to fit his two fingers in. I did that several times.I suppose that's how you can tell if someone is crazy or not--a stool test. I proceeded to toy with his embarassment for people looking at me for putting the stool on the table and insisted he put his two fingers in the hole. Of course, he didn't. He's used to all the silly things I do now, anyway.
Am I a candidate for 'crazy'? I'm more confused now on what people consider crazy.
Published by: YSCHAN # 7/01/2005 11:52:00 am 