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Monday, October 10, 2005
The mystery of the toilet paper thief
The office lunch hour crowd was rather small, as half of the office was out for one reason or another. Being Monday, we all looked like zombies with spaced out eyes that scream out "we would like to be somewhere else, please" to anyone who bothers peering into them. Our lunch hour was made more interesting than it could have been, though, when halfway through eating, colleague A raised up his eyebrow and said, "Ok, I need to ask you all a question."
We paused for awhile and looked at him curiously. He looked back at us, and said, "Alright, gimme an honest answer. Who's been stealing all the toilet paper?"
Hmm, a toilet paper thief right in our midst? Interesting.
Shrugging, I said, "Not me, I live at home with my parents, I have my endless supply of toilet paper."
Colleague B shrugged too, and asked, rather increduously, "Who'd want to steal toilet paper?"
At that I laughed and enlightened her about the rampant toilet paper theft back when I was still in college. Whenever the cleaning lady left stacks of toilet rolls in the toilet, stingy students who want to save money to the extent of not buying their own toilet paper would make off with stacks and stacks of it to use at home.
Colleague A laughed. "Yeah, I remember that too," he said. Turning to Colleague C, he asked," Could it be you?"
"Of course not!" she exclaimed. "How am I supposed to bring it home? I carry a transparent briefcase, for god's sake!"
"Yeah, it can't be me either, my bag's too small," Colleague B chimed in.
"I don't carry anything with me, so it's not me," said Colleague D.
Colleague A scratched his head. "Who could it be then?"
Colleague B laughed and said, "Well, I know Ex-Colleague used to steal toilet paper from Colleague E, but I don't think he ever brought it home."
Nodding, I mused, "Hmm, and The Boss always complains that his tissue paper seems to run out so fast, someone must be taking them."
Everyone quietly nodded their heads, taking their time to think it through. Then suddenly Colleague A had a revelation. "I know! It must be Colleague F!" Looking at us, he continued, "See, I have never seen him buy toilet paper, yet he seems to have loads of it! It must be him!"
We nodded our heads again. "But," Colleague B interjected, "how does he take them back home? I've never seen him carry a bag either."
The table went quiet again. Then Colleague D made a motion of lifting his tummy and hiding something underneath.
We burst out with laughter.
"Yeah, maybe," Colleague A snickers. "He's certainly *ahem* 'big' enough to do that."
Stifling a giggle, Colleague B says, "You think?"
"I'm going to have a word with him later." Colleague A grins.
We paused for awhile and looked at him curiously. He looked back at us, and said, "Alright, gimme an honest answer. Who's been stealing all the toilet paper?"
Hmm, a toilet paper thief right in our midst? Interesting.
Shrugging, I said, "Not me, I live at home with my parents, I have my endless supply of toilet paper."
Colleague B shrugged too, and asked, rather increduously, "Who'd want to steal toilet paper?"
At that I laughed and enlightened her about the rampant toilet paper theft back when I was still in college. Whenever the cleaning lady left stacks of toilet rolls in the toilet, stingy students who want to save money to the extent of not buying their own toilet paper would make off with stacks and stacks of it to use at home.
Colleague A laughed. "Yeah, I remember that too," he said. Turning to Colleague C, he asked," Could it be you?"
"Of course not!" she exclaimed. "How am I supposed to bring it home? I carry a transparent briefcase, for god's sake!"
"Yeah, it can't be me either, my bag's too small," Colleague B chimed in.
"I don't carry anything with me, so it's not me," said Colleague D.
Colleague A scratched his head. "Who could it be then?"
Colleague B laughed and said, "Well, I know Ex-Colleague used to steal toilet paper from Colleague E, but I don't think he ever brought it home."
Nodding, I mused, "Hmm, and The Boss always complains that his tissue paper seems to run out so fast, someone must be taking them."
Everyone quietly nodded their heads, taking their time to think it through. Then suddenly Colleague A had a revelation. "I know! It must be Colleague F!" Looking at us, he continued, "See, I have never seen him buy toilet paper, yet he seems to have loads of it! It must be him!"
We nodded our heads again. "But," Colleague B interjected, "how does he take them back home? I've never seen him carry a bag either."
The table went quiet again. Then Colleague D made a motion of lifting his tummy and hiding something underneath.
We burst out with laughter.
"Yeah, maybe," Colleague A snickers. "He's certainly *ahem* 'big' enough to do that."
Stifling a giggle, Colleague B says, "You think?"
"I'm going to have a word with him later." Colleague A grins.
Published by: whiterabbit # 10/10/2005 01:44:00 pm 
Comments:
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A few years back in Australia, when I lived on my own, the university was my (toilet) paper supplier. I seriously never bought a single roll or box of tissues. You can't blame me: an impoverished student stuck on the lower rank of the food chain. I saved a small bit of money, which I promptly used for CDs. One has to scrooge in order to partay. Hehe.
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