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Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Aftermath
"I'm so fucking pissed," my friend M types. "I know him and he's not too bad a person, but how can he do that to her?"
M and I are chatting on MSN about her friend's emotionally abusive boyfriend. "We went to a friend's party and all she did was talk to a bunch of guy friends from class! And he drags her away to tell her about how she's making him 'look bad'. What the fuck. He doesn't even like it when she hangs out with her friends either. Hello, she's a human being too!"
"She doesn't deserve scum like him," I tell her. "You should just tell her to dump him, no one deserves to be treated like that. You should know."
"I DO!! And I did tell her to dump him. She won't. Because she loves him, and she's too dependent on him to leave." I'm facing my computer at work, but I can feel the sadness and frustration coming from her. "She's one of my best friends. It pains me so much to see her being treated like that. You have no idea how angry I was at the party. Sigh. You understand my rage, don't you?"
I do.
Love, unfortunately, is blind. It makes you walk down the path of Love completely oblivious to the dangers that lie on the way, or furthur down the road. The further you walk on that path, the more oblivious you get, until Love has binded you with chains and anchors so heavy that by the time you notice them, you're completely trapped. In despair, you don't see a way out. You cling on in fear and continue to blindly stumble down the road, despite getting trapped even further, simply because it has become all too familiar to you, and simply because you still believe in Love, even though it has ensnared you so.
The people who are lucky enough to get out know that there is a tiny fork in that road. One that leads you out of that path to your freedom. Unfortunately, that path is dark, lonely, and often filled with obstacles of their own. Some don't even realize that it's there, waiting for them. And even if you do get out, you will be irrepairably changed. Angry. Bitter. Pained, in a way that no one except those who have gotten out will ever understand, no matter what they say.
Abusive relationships leave a taint on your soul that you will never be able to wash off, no matter how you try. It is hard enough to leave, because you simply believe and fear that the pain of leaving is greater than staying. And when you do get out, seeing other people being treated the same way hurts even more. But the part that hurts the most is that you know there is a way out, but no one will ever be able to help them except themselves.
To the people who are in relationships like that, please LEAVE. It will be the best decision you have ever made in your entire life.
M and I are chatting on MSN about her friend's emotionally abusive boyfriend. "We went to a friend's party and all she did was talk to a bunch of guy friends from class! And he drags her away to tell her about how she's making him 'look bad'. What the fuck. He doesn't even like it when she hangs out with her friends either. Hello, she's a human being too!"
"She doesn't deserve scum like him," I tell her. "You should just tell her to dump him, no one deserves to be treated like that. You should know."
"I DO!! And I did tell her to dump him. She won't. Because she loves him, and she's too dependent on him to leave." I'm facing my computer at work, but I can feel the sadness and frustration coming from her. "She's one of my best friends. It pains me so much to see her being treated like that. You have no idea how angry I was at the party. Sigh. You understand my rage, don't you?"
I do.
Love, unfortunately, is blind. It makes you walk down the path of Love completely oblivious to the dangers that lie on the way, or furthur down the road. The further you walk on that path, the more oblivious you get, until Love has binded you with chains and anchors so heavy that by the time you notice them, you're completely trapped. In despair, you don't see a way out. You cling on in fear and continue to blindly stumble down the road, despite getting trapped even further, simply because it has become all too familiar to you, and simply because you still believe in Love, even though it has ensnared you so.
The people who are lucky enough to get out know that there is a tiny fork in that road. One that leads you out of that path to your freedom. Unfortunately, that path is dark, lonely, and often filled with obstacles of their own. Some don't even realize that it's there, waiting for them. And even if you do get out, you will be irrepairably changed. Angry. Bitter. Pained, in a way that no one except those who have gotten out will ever understand, no matter what they say.
Abusive relationships leave a taint on your soul that you will never be able to wash off, no matter how you try. It is hard enough to leave, because you simply believe and fear that the pain of leaving is greater than staying. And when you do get out, seeing other people being treated the same way hurts even more. But the part that hurts the most is that you know there is a way out, but no one will ever be able to help them except themselves.
To the people who are in relationships like that, please LEAVE. It will be the best decision you have ever made in your entire life.
Published by: whiterabbit # 2/15/2006 09:25:00 pm 