I've always thought that Jason Lo was one of the best local artistes we have here in Malaysia. He always made pretty good music, but I've never felt the need to look up his music like I do with some others I rave about. Until I heard Operator, The Line Is Dead. I felt compelled to post this because the song went beyond being good music for me. I may not quite understand the lyrics, but I hear its message and it resonates deeply with me, bringing back all my ugly thoughts, memories and feelings about myself, all the desperation, the hate, the despair and the self-pity of what it's like to be suicidal. It took what seemed like a momumental effort (and a few really, really good friends) to crawl out of the mess I felt that I was in, and I suppose it was nothing but ironic that karma should show me what it was like from the other side a few years later. Sometimes the depression rebounds and I withdraw into my shell, but I've never forgotten that there are other people out there whose lives my stupid selfishness is affecting, and I remember the painful lesson that karma taught me.

Of course, since I don't understand the lyrics, for all I know I've completely misinterpreted the song. But it brings all this back, and reminds me that I have a long way to go. But I'll make it. I'll make sure of that.

Published by: whiterabbit  # 6/07/2006 10:42:00 pm